Dear Mr. Donald Trump,
My heart warmed upon hearing about your generosity towards Mr. Ed McMahon this week. You are so kind to help a fellow man in need. I read in an article that you do not even know Mr. McMahon but are helping him because it "would be an honor."
Since I know now that you have a desire to help, I have a business proposition for you. The back story is simple. My husband and I have an amazing opportunity to move to London. The only thing that is holding us back is our home. We have a beautiful, fee simple, corner lot townhouse in the ever popular Underwood Hills neighborhood in West Atlanta. The view from each of our three decks is unbeatable and the floor plan is open and welcoming. Not to mention it is priced to sell! Now, knowing the honor and pride that welled up in your tremendous heart upon offering to help a celebrity who made millions over the years but somehow can't pay the mortgage... imagine how you would feel helping an up and coming couple (who pay their mortgage on time and in full... even double sometimes...) to achieve their dreams! I am getting goose bumps just thinking about it.
So back to the proposition, I am offering to sell you my home at the asking price. You pay closing costs, realtor commissions, taxes and all attorney's fees. We get a small profit and get to move to London, you get a sense of pride and honor that comes with helping! Now, I know that you are a bottom dollar kind of guy so let me take a moment to explain why I think you need a home in Atlanta. As construction of Trump Towers Atlanta gets underway I am certain you will be spending more time in the Atlanta area to ensure this project does not meet the same fate as say... Trump Towers Tampa. Our home... or rather your future home... is conveniently located within minutes of the construction site! You could utilize our home as cooperate housing, saving on the cost of hotels. And finally, you could sit on our, I mean your, master balcony and admire your work as it inches it's way into the Atlanta skyline!
Please think about the plan I have laid out for you and feel free to contact our agent to make your offer official. I have faith in you as an honorable, generous man that you will come through for me in this time of need. You time and attention to this very serious offer is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Jennifer L. Kipphut
Attention Readers: Anyone who has any connections to Mr. Trump please forward. Thanks!
1 comment:
Maybe Kirk will buy it. I'll talk him into it. ;-)
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